TODAY’S JOYS AND SORROWS
(written: 23 October 2006)
Joy- Lilian giving me her bread—Lilian is a little girl whose mother lives here in the hospice. Diana is another little girl in a similar situation. They are both around the age of 6, and are so precious. They’ve become my shadows. It’s actually been a bit difficult for me to handle in the last couple of days, because the girls don’t usually want to leave my side… When they are being called away by their sick mothers. I’m not happy about this, but I do love these little girls. Anyway, Lilian’s mother had just come home from the hospital in town, and Lilian had not eaten much all day… Her mother gave her a bread bun to eat until she could get some more food… and Lilian instantly looked up at me, tore her bread in half, and tried to hand it to me… with the most pure and innocent look I’ve ever seen. It was the highlight of my week.
Sorrow- Joel, “the pain is too much!” Joel is the 12 year old boy with the very low t-cell count, who looks like he is about 8 because of his frail body. He was taken to the hospital this week (when this happens, you know things are not good… because it extends beyond the means of our own hospice). Well, a few days ago, he was moved into “seclusion” because he has TB, among other things. This poor little one sits in a glass room by himself, except for the brief moments when we visit him each day…. And have to smile at him behind medical masks. Anyway, when we went to visit him today, the nurse came to inject the medicine into the tube in his arm… and he yelled in agony. These children experience so much pain and sickness each day…. It takes a lot for them to cry out in pain. I just had him squeeze my hand… don’t know what else to do.
Joy- blowing bubbles with Diana. I already told you who she is, but to tell you a bit more about this precious little one: Diana’s mom is too sick to even walk around, unlike Lilian’s mom. Diana also is a special needs child… It’s hard to tell, but she does process things a little differently. When she hits a child out of fun and then they try to hit her back, I will yell at both of them…. But she can’t handle being called down… I guess she can’t handle the disappointment, because she just gets very sad and hides her face for a while. So, when this happened today, I waited a while, and then dug out some bubbles that I had brought with me for the kids to play with. I took Diana and Lilian outside to blow and chase bubbles. This cheered her right up, and she has the most amazing smile… Her whole face lights up. I’ll soon have photos to share with you.
Sorrow- Nothando has stopped crying… now she just stares. This is the little 2 year old who is smaller than a 2 month old. She is skin and bones, except for her bloated stomach. Her name means “loved one,” and I love her so much. She is my baby here. I recently discovered that her mother does actually live here at Sparrow; she just rarely visits her dying baby. Her mother is very young and is sick, as well. Anyway, I’ve struggled with the caregivers all week about “spoiling” Nothando by picking her up, because she cries to be picked up and they don’t want to deal with it. Dr. Karl has told me to give her extra attention, but I’m trying not to cause any trouble at the same time. Well, today when I visited her, she wasn’t crying to be picked up… This is very worrisome to me.
Joy- listening to a bunch of crazy kids play the marimbas and drums, something they take pride in. A group of nearly 20 kids were able to go to England to perform the marimbas. They took the trip in May, I believe, but it meant so much to them… as they hardly even leave Sparrow, so leaving the country is a huge deal! I went to their rehearsal tonight, and it was wonderful. Some were playing, while some were singing and dancing to the music. This is one aspect that always reminds me I’m in Africa; while other things may seem pretty Westernized here in South Africa, the music is usually quite native… and I love it.
Joy- Lilian giving me her bread—Lilian is a little girl whose mother lives here in the hospice. Diana is another little girl in a similar situation. They are both around the age of 6, and are so precious. They’ve become my shadows. It’s actually been a bit difficult for me to handle in the last couple of days, because the girls don’t usually want to leave my side… When they are being called away by their sick mothers. I’m not happy about this, but I do love these little girls. Anyway, Lilian’s mother had just come home from the hospital in town, and Lilian had not eaten much all day… Her mother gave her a bread bun to eat until she could get some more food… and Lilian instantly looked up at me, tore her bread in half, and tried to hand it to me… with the most pure and innocent look I’ve ever seen. It was the highlight of my week.
Sorrow- Joel, “the pain is too much!” Joel is the 12 year old boy with the very low t-cell count, who looks like he is about 8 because of his frail body. He was taken to the hospital this week (when this happens, you know things are not good… because it extends beyond the means of our own hospice). Well, a few days ago, he was moved into “seclusion” because he has TB, among other things. This poor little one sits in a glass room by himself, except for the brief moments when we visit him each day…. And have to smile at him behind medical masks. Anyway, when we went to visit him today, the nurse came to inject the medicine into the tube in his arm… and he yelled in agony. These children experience so much pain and sickness each day…. It takes a lot for them to cry out in pain. I just had him squeeze my hand… don’t know what else to do.
Joy- blowing bubbles with Diana. I already told you who she is, but to tell you a bit more about this precious little one: Diana’s mom is too sick to even walk around, unlike Lilian’s mom. Diana also is a special needs child… It’s hard to tell, but she does process things a little differently. When she hits a child out of fun and then they try to hit her back, I will yell at both of them…. But she can’t handle being called down… I guess she can’t handle the disappointment, because she just gets very sad and hides her face for a while. So, when this happened today, I waited a while, and then dug out some bubbles that I had brought with me for the kids to play with. I took Diana and Lilian outside to blow and chase bubbles. This cheered her right up, and she has the most amazing smile… Her whole face lights up. I’ll soon have photos to share with you.
Sorrow- Nothando has stopped crying… now she just stares. This is the little 2 year old who is smaller than a 2 month old. She is skin and bones, except for her bloated stomach. Her name means “loved one,” and I love her so much. She is my baby here. I recently discovered that her mother does actually live here at Sparrow; she just rarely visits her dying baby. Her mother is very young and is sick, as well. Anyway, I’ve struggled with the caregivers all week about “spoiling” Nothando by picking her up, because she cries to be picked up and they don’t want to deal with it. Dr. Karl has told me to give her extra attention, but I’m trying not to cause any trouble at the same time. Well, today when I visited her, she wasn’t crying to be picked up… This is very worrisome to me.
Joy- listening to a bunch of crazy kids play the marimbas and drums, something they take pride in. A group of nearly 20 kids were able to go to England to perform the marimbas. They took the trip in May, I believe, but it meant so much to them… as they hardly even leave Sparrow, so leaving the country is a huge deal! I went to their rehearsal tonight, and it was wonderful. Some were playing, while some were singing and dancing to the music. This is one aspect that always reminds me I’m in Africa; while other things may seem pretty Westernized here in South Africa, the music is usually quite native… and I love it.
posted by Stacy at 1:21 AM
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